When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
