HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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