can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
