dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
