what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
