I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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