Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
