D3 body, D1 cock
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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