i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
