The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
