Best friends brother. Beat that.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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