you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
