He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
