went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize