I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
