You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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