I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
