what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
