Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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