Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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