Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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