no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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