i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
