Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
