You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
