3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
