If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
