You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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