Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
