I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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