I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
