all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
