If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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