Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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