Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize