Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
