Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
