I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
