Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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