Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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