A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
