So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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