i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs