I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.