Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
