Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
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We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
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you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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