Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
