new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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