So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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