WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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