It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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