Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
