is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
