last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
