shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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