I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
