So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
