I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
