i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
