you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize