He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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