Four minutes until I can fart!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
