you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize