What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
