hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
